Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts

Wednesday, 1 April 2015

A taste of my novel to come...

I see body bags every day, this one, no different. That same plain blue becomes so monotonous, so easy to forget the contents; negating countless lives. The unzipping always takes me back to childhood days spent camping; that early morning surfacing from the tent, tearing the fly screen open to eagerly set out for a new day of adventure and exploration. Easy, care free days.

Inside this body bag was a dead girl.

It should have been no different, but seeing her tore a rusty nail through my heart. She was one of mine – one of the ‘freaks’.

Her tattooed body displayed bands I loved, logos I knew, artists I admired. She could have been my friend.

She could have been me.

Seeing her made the pain fresh, brought me to that moment, those final seconds of desperation as she stretched her neck into that noose. It was the most common way these days: hanging. So easy, almost everyone was doing it.

Through a latex barrier, I caressed her cold flesh, rippled by years of self-harm. A pain I was intimately familiar with. She was younger than me, by five or six years, but she was here. She was one of the ones who hadn’t made it. I’d tasted that pain almost every day and felt how easy the way out could be. Not the act, the temptation. How it grasped at the darkest part of your mind and suffocated you with it. No kind deed or happy face or friendly grin made its way through that jumbled web of grey: hatred so intensely self-destructive.

Her life, reduced to a report and a photo in a file. Her organs sampled in a pot with a label. Her, just a body on a trolley – a statistic on suicide.

Sunday, 16 November 2014

Self-Harm and the Trans* Community


An estimated 40 to 50% of GLBTIQ (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Trans*, Intersex, Queer) people self-harm, or attempt suicide at least once in their lifetime.
National estimates suggest between 4 to 7% of Australian youth (aged 15 – 24 years) have engaged in self-harming behaviours. 63% of respondents of the Trans Mental Health Study 2012 (Study 2012) harmed more prior to transitioning, and only 3% after. Of these, 60% felt the reasons for self-harm related to being trans* either directly, or indirectly.

A recent Australian review of LGBTI mental health reported that 50% of trans* Australians had attempted suicide. This is almost identical to a UK study which suggested 48%. Suicidal ideation and attempts are more frequent pre-transition. One respondent said, "I feel as if I am always going to be different by the society around me, and either patronised as a ‘brave survivor’ or avoided as an incomprehensible alien artefact – never just treated as a person."

Self-harm reduces following transition for the majority of those who have a history of self-harm. "My feelings of self and worth, not to mention, my confidence has grown exponentially since coming out, and presenting male. I am not ashamed of myself anymore – it’s been a wonderful journey," said Azaria**, 31, Adelaide, SA. A respondent in the Study 2012 said, "I gained the guts to stop caring what other people thought about me. I wake up every day with a few billion people hating me just for existing, and it doesn’t matter."

The majority of trans* people feel that the way their community is represented in the media has a negative effect on their emotional wellbeing. "Tabloid stories about transpeople are often exploitative, invasive of privacy, inaccurate, irrelevant or intended to drum up transphobia." Just look at the Courier Mail reporting the death of Mayang Prastyo a couple of weeks ago. Insensitive, sensational headlines, and photos, described the trans* murder victim as ‘she-male’ and ‘lady boy’.
Transgender and gender diverse people are more likely to experience mental distress due to the social disapproval and discrimination they encounter in their daily lives. Their mental health status is disclosed by some, depending on their perceived reaction from doctors or health care professionals. According to Gender Disorder Information, ‘Some shrinks want to solve the other problems before they tackle the gender issues – but what if the gender issues are the likely source of the problem?’ Many trans* people will hide feelings of depression or self-harm in fear it will delay their transition.
Discrimination is one of the main factors influencing trans* mental health and self-harm. Abuse, discrimination and stress are all too common. Going Upstream (a framework for promoting the mental health of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex (LGBTI) people) suggests that 49% of LGBTI youth experience some form of abuse in childhood. The Study 2012 confirms this. ‘Once dysphoria is resolved via transition, all that remains is people’s attitudes. Once society stops discrimination against us, then it will be safe to say that being trans* is not a bad thing,’ participants said, ‘I am more comfortable with my appearance and who I am, but it also makes me very aware that others aren’t.’
From Writing Themselves in 3 2010, a national study of SSAIGD (Same Sex Attracted, Intersex, and Gender Diverse) people aged 14 – 24 years, has shown that 18% who have never been subjected to physical or verbal heterosexist abuse, had self-harmed. 31% had self-harmed after verbal abuse and 55% after physical heterosexist abuse. Data from 2013 Growing Up Queer suggests that 33% of young people have self-harmed after homophobic or transphobic abuse. ‘I was sexually abused as a child by a close relative… I was emotionally abused growing up, perhaps responsible for my self-esteem issues and confidence problems now,’ said Azaria.
According to the experience of many trans* people, healthcare services are "inadequate and staffed by uneducated workers, especially when gender issues are coupled with self-harm". Self-harm and ‘alternative’ lifestyles are still relatively taboo in our society. A high per cent of trans* people have reported feeling emotionally distressed about their mental health whilst attending a Gender Identity Clinic (GIC). 
These frustrations are just as common here in South Australia. Newly identifying trans* people are required to see Gender Clinic prior to transitioning. There is only one GIC in Adelaide, and no alternative other than travelling interstate for care. South Australian law is still abiding by the Sexual Reassignment Act, written in 1988. Obeying outdated rules and regulations in fear of archaic laws leaves no room for best professional practice and individualised care for trans* people.
I attended the ANZPATH conference, Adelaide October 4 - 6, and there the first seeds of developing a national voice for the Australian trans* community were established. This is exciting. It is a work in progress that is going to take time and commitment, but it is going to reap some fantastic steps forward for the trans* community, and the future of gender diverse people in Australia, and hopefully, the world.


**Name changed.