Saturday 15 November 2014

On Questioning Style, and whether I mimic an Idol.

Glitter Girl
 25.03.2014

Inside were shadows and darkness; the wait . . . as maddening as the whispers in the wind. To pass time he examined the hands responsible for altering their game. They were large with long fingers, scarred, nails torn and dirty, smeared with blood and filth. 

Your father’s hands. 

He clenched them, as if the truth could be denied. He was different, he had to be.

The front door yawned open, spilling light towards Daniel that felt like creeping darkness. Fear paralysed him as his father stumbled in. He had no way of knowing how much he’d drunk already, but it became obvious. 'Where’s your mother?' he barked.

A malevolent voice spoke through his. 'Out whoring, like you told her,' it said.

His father grumbled, but not angrily because he had, on numerous occasions, told her to do exactly that. 'And you, what the fuck . . . What’s that fuckin’ stink?' His father stumbled forward, intent on investigating the source, but he hovered, hand clutching the edge of the table next to where his son sat.

'I . . . think a rat died in the bathroom,' Daniel stammered, standing to intercept him. 'It’s all right, I got rid of it.'

His father looked him up and down before he sneered and stumbled into the lounge room. He collapsed in front of the TV to catch up on the local news. 

And that left Daniel to prepare for the remainder of their game. 

He retreated to his mother’s room. She was staring up at him as he passed. 'It is true mother,' he said, ‘We should do something about that smell. It’s not healthy.' He turned to the dresser, rifling through the assortment of treasures before him. He found her perfume, Obsession, and sprayed himself, feeling the trigger of lust stir his groin. He closed his eyes for a moment, forcing away the other. 

NO!!!

The eyes that glared at him from the mirror were dark; long black eyelashes painted thick with mascara and smeared in kohl, as if the all light in the room had been absorbed into their depths. Hollow insides all prettied up. Utterly insane. Daniel scowled at the pallid creature reflected before him. Behind him, strewn over the bed and littering the floor, were the remnants of his mother’s closet. They had been in here all morning searching the vast array of clothing for something special. The clothes he wore fell lifelessly around his chest and hips making him appear waifish and childlike, flat chested and not the slightest bit appealing. 

Revolting! It glowered. It wanted the flowing cornflower blue dress with the cute spaghetti straps, but he couldn’t find it.

Daniel turned away from the petite girly boy in the mirror and stared at the clothes in sheer bewilderment. He seized an armful of the pastel flowery pile and pushed them to the floor until the bed was entirely cleared of mess.

She watched silently as he pulled back the comforter, uncovering the rest of her swelling, mottled body. 'Of course.' Daniel smiled, relieved, and it smiled with him. He proceeded to manoeuvre one stiff arm through the strap of the dress. It wouldn’t help him. 

Once she’d been undressed he pulled free of his own clothes, once again becoming transfixed by the naked reflection before him. He didn’t recognize the pale, ragged body, or the flaccid appendage between his legs, they didn’t belong to him. But the hate was all his; every angry mark, every scar, and every wound he’d carved into it.

Pulling the dress over his head, he slid his hands over the blue silk fabric. A wave of warmth, like when his mother’s blood had spilled out of her body and over his, like an orgasm, rose up from the pit of his stomach. The thing in him rejoiced. The dress was perfect, even with the dark staining and jagged holes through the chest, a reminder that beauty was never flawless. He unbound his dark hair and it cascaded around his shoulders, the hard-on marring an otherwise perfect silhouette.

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